Courage from Failure
In December it was very special for St Mary’s to again host the Clouds House Carol Service. We were privileged to hear a young man, who is in recovery from drink and drug addiction, speak of the life-changing experience of being at Clouds and his determination to live differently. His father was there alongside him to share his own perspective and to express his gratitude to the outstanding staff.
It is always humbling to hear people speak with such openness and honesty about the mistakes they have made and the harm they have caused others. Mostly we do everything in our power either to find excuses for our failings, or to hide our weaknesses, concealing those things about which we are most ashamed and presenting an image to others which is carefully edited.
At a societal or political level we also do this, refusing to acknowledge the way our own behaviour may be selfish or detrimental, and shifting blame onto others. One of the traditional prayers of confession sums it up perfectly: ‘We have left undone those things that we ought to have done; and we have done those things that we ought not to have done; and there is no health in us.’ We can say those words weekly in church, while still hiding what these ‘things’ might be. The young speaker from Clouds bravely, and inspiringly, made his ‘confession’ public, offering neither excuses nor concealment, but a simple commitment to work at living his life better.
Another powerful moment in the Carol service was when the actress, Hermione Norris, movingly read the ‘Manifesto of the Brave and Brokenhearted’, by the American academic Brené Brown. It might be a fitting manifesto for all of us to adopt in 2026.
There is no greater threat to the critics
and cynics and fearmongers
than those of us who are willing to fall
because we have learned how to rise.
With skinned knees and bruised hearts;
we choose owning our stories of struggle,
over hiding, over hustling, over pretending.
When we deny our stories, they define us.
When we run from struggle, we are never free.
So we turn toward truth and look it in the eye.
We will not be characters in our stories.
Not villains, not victims, not even heroes.
We are the authors of our lives.
We write our own daring endings.
We craft love from heartbreak,
compassion from shame,
grace from disappointment,
courage from failure……
Revd Kate McFarlane